Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What gets you hard?

In this life you will have problems. Some you will bring upon yourself. These urges you can't control, I understand. From drug addicts, to alcoholics, to sexual deviants, we all have the capability for addiction.

The problem with an addict is they always want a little bit more of a good thing, or bad. When you're always looking for that greener pasture its hard to appreciate what you have, or to appreciate having nothing at all. There's a reason why so many drug addicts overdose, or alcoholics die from alcohol poisoning. They always need more. They just want a little extra smack to make them feel just a little bit better. When you get bored with yourself and the world, these things happen.

How do you get high? What makes you hard? I shoot up with writing and philosophy. (Not saying I don't smoke pot, it's just I don't hit the hard drugs) How about you? Come on, it's okay, just ask yourself that. What is your passion? You have to figure out what makes you feel alive.

I find most addicts are people who just haven't found what really gets them hard. They use drugs or sex as a substitute because they can't find their purpose. They can't find that one thing that makes their life worthwhile. Or they have to hide themselves from the world because what makes them happy might be a little fucked up to the rest of us. I have to be honest, if all I had to do was grind out a paycheck each week without knowing who I am and knowing what makes me happy, I would shoot up too.

Everyone has this common enemy. No one thinks of it as evil but as an ordinary thing. What really drives people to addiction and several other horrible acts is boredom. Boredom is what makes us interact. It makes us crave that drug called attention. If we were happy just playing in our own heads all day like crazy people we wouldn't need anybody.

This is why I envy the completely insane. I know I'm crazy, but I mean the really fucked up people. The people that just love to sit and talk to themselves for hours, God knows what kind of fun shit they are doing up in that head. If you ask me, not giving a shit about this world because you have your own, that's pretty fucking special. I'd do it in a heartbeat.

You have to find beauty in needing nothing at all; to be at peace with emptiness. To have that feeling that nothing can touch you because you have nothing to lose.

That's a feeling you don't have to be crazy to feel. Sure some people think it's crazy to not value your own life, but why value a life with nothing in it? If you let go, everything seems trivial and anything is a game.

Life is like a shitty girlfriend. She can be great at times but if you slip up even a little she threatens to leave you. Now imagine staring that bitch in the face and telling her it doesn't matter if she leaves you or not because you could care less.

My outlook is to enjoy life while you have it. Life can be a bitch, but you don't have to be sad when she goes walking out on you.

An addiction just makes you want to hang on to her.

2 comments:

  1. Ahh..
    what would I do if you didnt write this shit.

    I get it.. it speaks to me.. keep writing.. !

    This might just be what it takes to keep me sane..


    **Cassie**

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  2. if this was facebook, i would like this post. good job.
    -liz

    this site is fucking up, i tried to post as my lj account which i do still have and update! _allinthemind if you want it

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