Saturday, December 18, 2010

Wake Up.

I wrote this while thinking of a new blog.

But since I'm too tired to write what I feel in complex words today, I'll leave you with a short poem until I have collected myself.

A man can dream,

That's what they say,

But sometimes we dream,

Our whole lives away,

When you hide in your head,

Nothing seems real,

You forget to stand up,

And say what you feel,

We're a society of cynics,

Our spirits broken,

Taught to obey,

Our minds unspoken,

We expect the worse,

So that's what we get,

But I cant help but feel,

A bit of regret,

That although we dream,

We don't do what's right,

We don't run to the streets,

And put up a fight,

We cried in disgust,

At Tienanmen Square,

But when the fight's here,

No one seems to care,

Because our glass is half empty,

We've been molded without knowing,

To take the shit that's fed to us,

Forget the cards they aren't showing,

So we all have to learn,

To fill up our cup,

To fight for whats right,

Please wake up.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Freedom isn't free, it doesn't exist.

How can anyone call themselves free anymore?

Everyone owns everything. Since when did people get the right to "own" places? You can't go hunt for your food anymore. No more gathering wild plants to eat. You can do these things in a controlled manner but you'll always have to pay someone.

As you read this there are people you don't even know deciding how you should live your life. Abide by their "laws". People should be born into a world where they can do whatever they please with their own bodies or lives. Like animals.

We had to start like animals. We were animals. I believe in laws just as much as the other man but I believe those laws should only govern unjust acts. If you rape a girl you get your ass beat and possibly killed. If you kill a man be ready to be killed yourself. But if I want to walk down into the woods and live there why do you have to know about it?

But you can't marry someone of your own sex or pump yourself with drugs legally in most places. You can't just find a nice spot and make it your home for the night. You can't be free to live in a world where you just live like a normal animal. People are forced to register themselves and live in the human world.

I never signed up to live in this world. Why do I have to listen to your rules?
Can't we just make things simple again?
Can't I just get a place where no one will bother me for taxes or land permits?
Can't people just.. live anymore?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Place your bets.

Have you ever met someone so stuck in their own sorrow you can't stand it?

Like all they focus on is the bad in life and whatever little thing happened to them this week.

I feel a bit embarrassed mentioning it because I've been that way before. Hiding in my cave, refusing to see anything but anguish. At some point your spirit breaks, and you give in to depression. The people that refuse to move past this point in their lives irk me. At some point you should learn to move past all the bullshit life has handed you. Sometimes it's time to stop being sad and start being awesome.

If you do nothing but sit alone in the dark weeping, nothing will ever get better. Don't focus on the past so much. Or life's problems. Live for a moment. A moment where you can smile and relax for a second. If you collect enough of these tiny moments life doesn't start to hurt so bad. You're just waiting for your next moment. Or you can take a different approach and totally cash in. New job, new city, new everything. Sometimes you just need a restart.

Just say "Fuck it."

You can change what you can, but sometimes life deals you a shitty hand.

Get used to it and keep placing your bets.

You'll never win anything folding every hand.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Superman's Dead.

Let's talk about heroes.

I don't mean Superman either.
(well, maybe Batman)

Many people have heroes that they look up to. Aspire to be like. While there's nothing wrong with setting goals I wonder if this is really a good method of doing so.

You should look at people and respect them for their accomplishments, but to consider anyone a hero is null. We are all human. We all have flaws. You should always aspire to be the best version of you. Not somebody else.

Emulating another person isn't so bad, but you must look at the person that you are emulating as a normal figure. No one is all knowing, and you have to go about your own way to get a different perspective on your chosen field. Change is created with a collective of several varied minds. They may have a similar goal, but reaching for it can always be done in a different way.

You can always improve on another person's legacy and make it your own.

You should respect a person for what they do. Good for the world, themselves, and their fellow man. But as a person, you should see them as a normal person.

Not a god-like figure capable of things beyond your reach.

Because after all, you are human too.

There's no Superman here. We have to look at the world and change it with our own hands. So put your best foot forward and go make your own legacy.

You may not be the man of steel, or have a kick ass butler named Alfred, but neither do all the people you've called heroes over the years.

Make your theme song. Get your costume.

Go kick life's ass.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I'm back y'all, I'm back y'all, I'm black y'all! Wait.. what?

So I don't know if I've been avoiding writing or if it was just the pills (which I've recently stopped taking) diminishing my creative thought. Either way, I have been focused a lot on my writing as of late, and will soon be blasting your minds with some deep thought. I like feedback, so leave me some comments fuckheads. You don't have to be a member to write one.

Put simply, after a long hiatus and some good times experiencing life I'd like to dive into blogging again. Sorry for the delay, but we all need to recharge once and awhile.

Even if you retain your normal life, sometimes it's better to cut most ties over the internet and phone to just sit back and enjoy the present. If you don't have someone to talk to, find someone new. Don't text some old asshole you've had a million talks with before. Why not go places, meet people, and just let loose? Go find some strangers to swap stories with. You'll be surprised that not only you and your friends lead "interesting" lives. Even an old enemy can become a good friend as you change over the years. Those years of being separated through hatred couldn't have been so boring that you couldn't share a story or two over a beer.

So even if I am going to start writing again, I want you to stop for a moment. Stop and think about it seriously. Do you need a break from the norm? If you do, then stop reading my fucking blog and don't recharge your phone. So you can recharge yourself.

Battery low..
Shutting down in 3..

Friday, July 9, 2010

Pain is Good, Sometimes.

I find that we are raising generations of pussies. Contact sports and even dodge ball are being assaulted by soccer moms afraid of letting their children experience pain. Everyone expects things to be handed to them. Everyone thinks the world owes them something. What people fail to realize is the world doesn’t owe you a damn thing. By constantly worrying about whether our children are happy and never feel pain, we cause the problems we face now. Everyone is politically correct, and too afraid to say what is on their minds. Reducing the mental and physical pain throughout ones early life, makes it so when they reach adulthood, they can’t handle the real world. No one can shrug off a bad comment anymore. With pain comes wisdom, with wisdom comes realization. This realization is that life goes up and down. You don’t have to sulk every time something bad happens. Roll with the punches, and when the world gives you a nice right hook to the jaw, you may be down awhile, but then you should get up and kick it in the balls. Change is caused by people not afraid to speak their minds as loud as they can. The best leaders have always felt pain at some point in their life, and that is why they know how to deal with it.

I’m not saying to abandon your children. I’m not saying to not show them love. But let them make mistakes. It is only natural to protect your child but they need time to themselves as well. They need to be pelted with dodge balls or maybe get in a little trouble. Getting detention makes them learn how to be responsible, and that there are always consequences. Getting tackled will make them shrug off the little pains in life, and make them force their way through with their own strength next time. A dodge ball hurts less than a punch from a stranger on a drunk night. Detention is nothing compared to going to prison. Failing a class sucks a lot less than losing your job for being lazy. These are all valuable lessons.

Trying to ride on their backs and guide them all the time is only teaching them that someone will always be there to help them. They need to find their own strength and wisdom sometimes. But never completely abandon them or they may turn out worse than desired.

You need only a sperm and an egg to create a child. You need strength and wisdom to create a man. But those who are left to find that wisdom and strength on their own, may become the best of men, or the worst monsters.

Friday, June 25, 2010


The only way my town could be famous is if someone important died here, because no one important is born here. I’m sick of walking down the street and seeing the same old lifeless characters. Drones slaving on, no real purpose just trying to live comfortably distracted, filling every hollow void with multimedia. I wonder if people used to have more fire in their eyes. You can see the twinkle once and a while when one has a purpose, but lately all I’ve seen is emptiness. Isn’t anyone driven to get the hell out of here anymore? Or to do something with themselves? Surely the handful of people I know can’t be the only ones. People need to find something to live for again. It saddens me to go out some days.

All I’ve been witness to lately is terrible things. In the newspapers, the television, and the internet, I see nothing but horrible acts. I find times like these are best spent with the handful you know that have fire in their eyes. Terrible things are changed when people with fire in their eyes work together. These people forge on when the zombies watch television. People who have found a purpose for themselves.

I just want to see happier people these days. Everything is so gloomy. So go look for a purpose, or something that truly means something to you. Go crazy and just do something! Resuscitate yourselves! I just want to feel like I’m amongst the living again.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Burning Bright.

What is your definition of living?

I wonder what people think these days about it.

Life is filled with beautiful moments and depressing ones. Unfortunately the latter can sometimes build so it makes you not appreciate those other moments as much. There are those who try to hide from life to avoid those melancholy moments. These people just grind away at life avoiding situations that may end badly. They never take chances and in my opinion, never truly live. What do you think? Does a life of solitude and not caring if you live or die count as life at all? I’d rather take the risk and experience the ups and downs. Love, hate, war, peace, depression, happiness, friends, and enemies, I’ll take them as they come.

Even in this dark world you have to try to carve out your own happiness. You have to try to see the beauty in everything and never let a bad moment stop you from trying again. Never give up on the things that you love because of the risk involved.

People often ridicule those who choose to live short and explosive lives. I find the risk takers are the most interesting and most fulfilled people I have ever met. Although sometimes situations end in tragedy, there is no reason to avoid them. Live your life to the fullest with all your heart and even if you die when you are young, you will have no regrets.

If you enjoy smoking do it if you please. If you want to go skydiving go for it. If you want to fight for what you believe in against impossible odds, I believe you have all the right in the world. It’s your life, live it how you want to. Also, stop trying to hold onto people. I believe in educating others on the dangers of all these things, but I will never tell them not to do it. For example, if I am smoking a cigarette and someone tells me I should quit, it annoys the hell out of me. I’m aware of the risks, but I choose to do it anyways. I’d rather enjoy myself than live a buttoned-down, boring, safe life.

Now stop trying to save everyone and let them do as they please.

Life is too sweet to go wasting it on being careful.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Drunken Brain Boxing.

Like most famous writers, I suddenly feel the need to post my feelings now that I am heavily intoxicated. Here goes.

Why are you reading this?
Why aren't you out doing something?
Something that will make you feel good about yourself?
You could be seeing things, meeting people, but here you are reading this bullshit.
Go on an adventure.
Take a flight with fate.
Wherever your feet may take you.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Joker.

A short, uninteresting poem I wrote entitled "The Joker."


I'm a common reminder of those kids you once knew,
The ones back in high school whose maturity never grew,
Really smart but no one expected much,
Rumor is his mind's a bit out of touch,
A joker in person,
A fighter at heart,
Writing down curse words,
And calling it art,
Reciting his works,
He reads to an empty hall,
They don't bother to listen,
They don't know him at all.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


I dwell a lot.
I dwell on the things I want to be, what I want to do.
I feel like there's an ocean of things that I have to say, yet I find it difficult to find a way to relate it to the masses.
I feel that in this world of petty views I am too abrasive to get my opportunity.
I view myself as a generally bad person, in certain aspects.
I am difficult to handle, but I like to think there is some good in there.
I generally want to help people but have no idea how.
I always wanted to be a writer, it's my passion.
I write and feel my audience is too small.
I want a wider scale to things.
I want my golden ticket.
I can't focus much anymore, my mind races.
I know I don't focus on my life much in this, but after all it is a blog.
I hope I haven't bored you.
I just wanted to take a moment and reflect on myself.
I hope you'll take a moment and reflect on yourself too.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Politically Incorrect.

I often wonder why people come to me for advice even though I am a fuck up.

I enjoy helping people so I enjoy these talks, yet it has its own hilarity to it. I have a strange bearing in life where I'm allowed to say almost anything to anyone (no matter how vulgar) and I get a free pass. Am I some sort of new-age guru? I sit here in my cheap jeans, stoned out of my mind and contemplating life, and people see me as a wise man. An old hermit who lives in the woods. People walk through the forest and up a mountain to hear me speak, but no one would choose to live the way I do.

This is why I don't understand why people drag personal lives into politics. As long as it does not conflict with their duties, who says a person can't be a good leader just because they have a soft spot for prostitutes? Stop looking at petty shit and look at the real issues you morons. The choices you make now affect the lives of your children.

Just because someone waves God in your face and has decent "christian morals" doesn't mean they are better suited for leadership than a homosexual or someone who follows a different religion. Look at how they'll treat the school system or the rise of unemployment in your country. If you type in "nys" to google its first recommended (most searched) is "nys unemployment". I know at least my country needs some improvement, and I'm willing to look to anyone qualified. No matter what age, gender, race, religion, or sexual preference.

So I will finish this post, before I go on a politcal rampage and spew a bunch of shit that you do not care about. But, I want to leave you this lesson. Just because they don't have the same views doesn't make them bad at what they do. If you take anything I write to heart, and take my advice, then you should know that.

Because I sure as hell have never met anyone with the same views as me.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Down with the sickness.

I recently read a chapter from a book that caught my eye. In this, they explained the theory that human beings may in fact share the same family tree as viruses. They believe that large DNA viruses with organism-like properties may have created the first nucleus by infecting a primitive archaeon. This rendered eukaryotes. Much of the human genome is viral in origin anyways so why not?

I enjoy this theory because it represents most of humanity to me. For as long as we've known that they exist, we despised viruses as evil machine-like destroyers, yet we may be evolved viruses ourselves. This reminds me of how much we disdain our own little evils. We resent that strange impulse to do something wrong. Maybe its just our inner virus telling us to do whats best for yourself.

Also, this fits the old saying "The human race is a virus". We do procreate to no end, overpopulating the Earth and destroying it as we go. Now, as our host is dying, we look for new hosts! We talk of terra-forming Mars and inventing the technology to do it, but do we need to? To act as a virus is the very nature of human life. Do we really need to spread our disease to the universe?

Friday, January 29, 2010

Greetings Traveler!

Whatever happened to the days where people walking by each other could still casually greet each other? Have we become so estranged that we have to cower from the thought of waving to a stranger? Or saying, "Have a nice day"? Countless times I have been scolded by friends for being too outgoing. It's not hard to walk up to someone and ask how they're doing. There's nothing weird about it either. We have too many bottled up people too afraid or too stuck up their own ass to even be courteous with strangers anymore.

This seems worse in the north of the United States. People ignore each other's existence while walking to work or riding a bus, just mindless shells transporting a sleeping mind. Having lived in the south for a short period I find that there really is such a thing as "southern hospitality". Its good to walk down the road and meet new people just by friendly greetings. Not often will you pass a stranger on a deserted sidewalk and not get at least a hello. I love the north, but we need to work on being such shy bitches and look each other in the eye.

Go wave to all the cars passing by.

High five people on the sidewalk.

Talk to the people in the car next to you at stoplights.

Stop being a pussy.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What gets you hard?

In this life you will have problems. Some you will bring upon yourself. These urges you can't control, I understand. From drug addicts, to alcoholics, to sexual deviants, we all have the capability for addiction.

The problem with an addict is they always want a little bit more of a good thing, or bad. When you're always looking for that greener pasture its hard to appreciate what you have, or to appreciate having nothing at all. There's a reason why so many drug addicts overdose, or alcoholics die from alcohol poisoning. They always need more. They just want a little extra smack to make them feel just a little bit better. When you get bored with yourself and the world, these things happen.

How do you get high? What makes you hard? I shoot up with writing and philosophy. (Not saying I don't smoke pot, it's just I don't hit the hard drugs) How about you? Come on, it's okay, just ask yourself that. What is your passion? You have to figure out what makes you feel alive.

I find most addicts are people who just haven't found what really gets them hard. They use drugs or sex as a substitute because they can't find their purpose. They can't find that one thing that makes their life worthwhile. Or they have to hide themselves from the world because what makes them happy might be a little fucked up to the rest of us. I have to be honest, if all I had to do was grind out a paycheck each week without knowing who I am and knowing what makes me happy, I would shoot up too.

Everyone has this common enemy. No one thinks of it as evil but as an ordinary thing. What really drives people to addiction and several other horrible acts is boredom. Boredom is what makes us interact. It makes us crave that drug called attention. If we were happy just playing in our own heads all day like crazy people we wouldn't need anybody.

This is why I envy the completely insane. I know I'm crazy, but I mean the really fucked up people. The people that just love to sit and talk to themselves for hours, God knows what kind of fun shit they are doing up in that head. If you ask me, not giving a shit about this world because you have your own, that's pretty fucking special. I'd do it in a heartbeat.

You have to find beauty in needing nothing at all; to be at peace with emptiness. To have that feeling that nothing can touch you because you have nothing to lose.

That's a feeling you don't have to be crazy to feel. Sure some people think it's crazy to not value your own life, but why value a life with nothing in it? If you let go, everything seems trivial and anything is a game.

Life is like a shitty girlfriend. She can be great at times but if you slip up even a little she threatens to leave you. Now imagine staring that bitch in the face and telling her it doesn't matter if she leaves you or not because you could care less.

My outlook is to enjoy life while you have it. Life can be a bitch, but you don't have to be sad when she goes walking out on you.

An addiction just makes you want to hang on to her.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Homo Sapien.

We are a wonderful species. Filled with potential and wisdom that puts the rest of the animals of Earth to shame. All of us slightly differentiated from each other through interests and appearance.

But, lets take a look at the human mind. Though fraught with layers of intelligence and personality, we are all the same at our core. If we better understand each other's core, then we can take our first step towards a new outlook and a new life. I know I sound like a new age hippy douchebag, but I can only assure you that I am not.

Try to take my word for it.

Some people think to be a good philosopher, or to be wise, you have to suffer. On that subject, I wouldn't say I'm an expert, but let's just say my life hasn't been sunshine, lollipops, and kittens. If you're reading this still you've probably had a similar situation. Happy people don't go to whackos for advice. But who wants to be normal anyways?

Let's break it down. People are all basically the same. I know you might not think so, and yes there are differences, but on the basest level there's not one among us who thinks any different.

Everyone cares about what others think about them too much. Everyone just wants a little bit of attention. Who doesn't want to make their mark? To drift through time completely unnoticed by anyone? If you say you do, you are probably lying.

I know a few people will be angry about what I just said. Those so-called "different" people who "don't give a fuck about anyone". The truth is, if you really didn't give a shit, you wouldn't be trying so hard to be different. I have no problem with what you want to do with your life, just don't lie and say you don't want the attention.

In example: Tattoos

I have tattoos, a lot of people do. Lots of real die-hard fans of them will get ink that covers their entire body. Using them to represent what they stand for, their heritage, and experiences in their lives. If you have one, you know you didn't get it to stare at yourself, you want others to see. Why not? That's why I have mine. My problem is when people get something outrageous like "fuck" on their forehead and then try to say "I'm just expressing myself." You my friend are full of shit. You are just expressing what you think "normal people" would find offensive, or shocking. You just want your little marks to make yourself different, to make you special.

This life means nothing if we don't interact. This life means nothing without that attention.

What I want you to take from this passage is deep down we are all the same child craving that attention. That acknowledgment that you exist.

This is the first step to letting go because once you realize why the person that is torturing you, beating you, raping you, etc. is just as scared as you are of dying nameless, then you start to see the funny side. No one is superior deep down.

So keep your head up, because that just means they are as desperate for love as you.

No matter what you do to stand out, you have to remember that you aren't being you. You are being what you think most people aren't, for that drug we call attention. That doesn't make you special. That makes you a liar, to yourself.

The Machine.

Let's take a moment to explain why I find it important to let go of certain things.

Let's discuss something I call "The Machine".

Not unlike animals, we all have some basic primal knowledge. Like how birds migrate and salmon return to the same spawning pool they were born to reproduce, we are just born with the same knowledge. Our instincts.

I can't help but get this feeling that we are all connected. Fragments of something bigger, slowly rebuilding itself to its former glory. With each life a little more experience goes into this machine. With every minute of suffering comes wisdom. Each person, another part of the machine.

The problem is that we don't know what we are working toward. Mankind is capable of great things but with more technology comes a larger detachment from what we really are. Animals. Animals stick to the herd and do what they were born to do. They have nothing more important to do than survive and continue the species.

We, being sentient and possessing the knowledge to dominate other species, no longer fear nature and the food chain. We have become so bored with just existing that we constantly invent more shit just to be entertained.

Just being alive isn't good enough anymore. These computers, televisions, and cell phones distract us from each other and instead introduce us to manufactured humans. These representations on television and the internet are not real people but what certain people want you to think are real. These manufactured humans are designed to mold you to so-called "normal" living. To spend your money on more stupid fucking distractions.

We need to reunite with each other. To find our larger purpose. More people should do what they want to do instead of what they should do. I believe if you are happy with what you are doing with your life you are fulfilling your part in this machine. The reason I'm writing these things is to wake you up and make you a real animal again. A real person again. No longer manufactured but a repaired fragment of that broken machine.

Once we let go we can find each other.

Once we let go we can remake ourselves.

Once we let go we can remake our worlds.

Once we let go, we will know our purpose again.

Professor, may I use the bathroom?

Ok class. Take a seat. Time to talk about Earth.

The 3rd planet from the sun, gifted with the only sentient life in our solar system. Yet, with something so special, evil seems to taint it, so it cannot last too long.

Unlike most Professors, I'm not here to mold your mind, but to unshape it. There are people that mold your mind your whole life. They shape it to what they consider 'normal'. Teachers, parents, governments, the clergy. I'm not saying all of these people are bad people. In most cases they are trying to help. I'm just saying this world doesn't run like a well oiled machine.

Go to school and you'll get a good job. Eat your vegetables and you'll be big and strong. Listen to the governments "experts" and the economy will run fine. Go to church and be a good person and rewards will follow, you may even get into that VIP section in the sky.

That's all nice to hear, but do you think it always works out that way? Truth is not everything works out perfectly in this world. There are homeless people with college degrees, vegetarians who get cancer, the economy is falling apart, and good people get the shaft while backstabbers and whores reap the benefits. But the fact is if you look at the world through a different perspective even watching it burn can be enjoyable.

I'm not saying genocide or struggling families are funny. The fact we live this way disgusts me. But I'm going to ask you something. In the scope of things, does it really matter? Let it go and do something for yourself, or join an organization that focuses on the ones that want to join. Not everyone else.

You know what I mean. You can't change the world. You cannot stop greed and ambition. It will never be the perfect society you want, but you can at least be civil with others of like mind. Just let the notion that the whole planet with join hands and sing "Kum Bay Ya" go.

Not only that, but is what everyone thinks is so important really matter? Your homes, your cars, your things, your uncomfortable relationships because you don't want to act "stupid" or "weird". Let go of all of those feelings of needing to be normal. Of needing that new car because its "cool". Focus on living. Good living, connecting with people you hardly know sometimes just because you don't care what they think about you and they don't care what you think about them. We're just killing time with these distractions. In a few million years, will anyone know the human race existed?

This isn't some anarchist statement or saying that its ok to fuck with people for no reason. I'm just inviting you to take a look at things a little differently. It's time to laugh off those horrible things happening to you. It's time for a new beginning.

The Beginning.

I am going insane. At least that's what they tell me.

Maybe this will just be incoherent rambling, but I like to think there's a "method to my madness". This is the most literal use of that phrase I've ever encountered.

I'm writing this not for the mainstream, but for those who aren't afraid to think outside the norm. Most people will turn away from this blog in disgust. Many will think I'm just crazy. (And rightly so) But, a select few may read it like scripture. Not to be confused with religion, this blog focuses on life, not the afterlife.

This is a fresher outlook on a world that is letting us down. A new outlook on yourself and the people around you. Throw out those skeletons in your closet and start something new. Or just pass this off as some madman's ravings. It is your decision.

Keep reading, and see just how crazy I really am.